Whiny ass communist liberals

This is a list of things all of those whiny commie liberals are making us THINK they've done for America with their MIND TRICKS! See, these LIBERALS are trying to make it LOOK like they're helping America, which is untrue. Everyone (by everyone I mean the good, decent people at Focus on the Family) knows it's us good Christian conservatives that help America. Don't fall for these liberal tricks!

• No funding for abstinence-only sex education - Barack Obama
• 127 billion dollar budget surplus - Bill Clinton
• Sex education that has prevented unplanned pregnancies and abortions - Planned Parenthood, ACLU, etc.
• Clean drinking water - EPA
• Safe food and drugs - FDA
• End of McCarthy raids - ACLU
• Protection of women's health - Roe v. Wade
• Civil rights - Martin Luther King, Jr., John F. Kennedy, NAACP
• Retirement - Social Security
  
• Women's suffrage - loudmouth feminists who should make their husbands a sandwich
• End of the Depression - FDR
• 40 hour work week, child labor laws, overtime, benefits - AFL-CIO, other labor unions
• Liberation of slaves - Abraham Lincoln, abolitionists, northern (blue) states
• First woman to practice law - Iowa, 1860s (Iowa's turning into a shitty blue state)

These LIBERALS are just helping America to make themselves look good! It's a conspiracy! They must be stopped. Us good, hard working, Jesus-loving conservatives need to band together to make this country shitty to counter this LIBERAL conspiracy of making this country better!